Thursday, 24 May 2012

Burning Bridges: Top Ten Things I'd Like to Burn by Allan Leverone

Another fabulous Top Ten for you tonight from another fabulous Burning Bridges writer, Allan Leverone. This list is one from the heart...

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#10 Mortgage – The realtor commercials always show smiling families cavorting on the front lawn, never the poor bastard who pays the bills writing a check with lots of zeroes on it every month.

#9 – All the college loan documents I’ve built up with three kids in school – College is expensive. You really notice it when the bills start coming due.

#8 Rubber on the road with a cool sports car – I did it a few times when I was a kid and it was fun. Now, though, people expect me to be responsible (See #9). Most of the time I’m cool with that. Every once in a while, though . . .

#7 – All the junk in my attic – I’ll never use the stuff, but I just can’t bring myself to get rid of any of it. There could come a day when I’ll need an old steamer trunk with a broken latch. You just never know.
#6 Birth certificate – Turning twenty was awesome. Thirty didn’t bother me. Forty was depressing and fifty just plain sucked ass. I’d rather not get any older, thank you very much.

#5 – Every photo that exists of me before age 21 – I was one goofy-looking kid. 

#4 - The first draft of everything I’ve ever written - And most of the seconds, too.

#3 – The drunken letter I wrote to my first girlfriend after we broke up – No wonder she thought I was an idiot.

#2 Peas, whenever I have to eat them – God, I hate peas.

#1 – The publisher’s license, if there was such a thing, of every small-time publisher who acts unprofessionally and, in the process, tarnishes the reputation of the dozens, maybe hundreds, of hard-working, professional-acting, small press publishers out there – Nuff said. 


Al Leverone said...

Hey Fiona, thanks a lot for having me...This was a lot of fun and maybe even a little cathartic to boot. And as an aside to anyone reading the above post - If you know anything about me, I know you're having trouble believing I really wrote this, based on the cool graphics next to each item on the list. You're thinking, he's definitely not clever enough to have come up with these. You'd be right. They were added by the host of this blog, Fiona Johnson, and the post looks so much better for her efforts...thanks Fiona!

K. A. Laity said...

Nicely done! Especially the top one -- let the Google curse be upon all such folks.

Fiona Johnson said...

Thanks Allan - delighted you like my choice of pics- that's the fun part. Complimentary box of matches coming your way!